Somewhere in Middle America

alone

Alone in Homewood

I’m alone in my apartment again.

After J left last Saturday, I flew back to NJ to spend a few short days with my family. I returned to Omaha Tuesday night with my grandmother, who stayed with me until this morning. My grandma has been all over the world but never to Nebraska; she came to see the city and keep me company. But now she’s back in NY, and the apartment is quiet again.

I spent the day curled up on the couch falling in and out of sleep. It was a beautiful summer day and I could have relaxed poolside, but I choose to make like a hermit and stay indoors. I didn’t want to cry in public. I think I needed the day to rest; I haven’t felt like myself since Thursday night. I’ve been throwing up and feeling lethargic. I’m not sure if I caught some sort of virus or if I’m just depressed.

I heard from J Tuesday morning but not again until yesterday, Saturday. Every time he calls, I cry. How am I going to make it until August like this?

I had a really long conversation with Jess tonight and she reinforced how important it is that I have some sort of schedule. Since I’m not working, it’d be too easy to sit on the couch and watch TV all day. Instead, I have to get myself to the gym, read my business books, consider taking some sort of class, make plans with friends. She invited me to join her at the Renegade Craft Fair in SF this July, and if I can find some decent airfare, I’m totally there. I need things like that to look forward to this summer, like my sister’s visit in July and my mom’s in August.

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start the countdown

Time, where did you go?
Why did you leave me here alone?

–Chantal Kreviazuk

I miss him already.

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the long goodbye

Tomorrow morning J is leaving on an extended business trip.

I’m not really sure I’ll be able to handle the goodbye.

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tornado alley

For the first time in my life I heard tornado sirens.

Last night, at around 6:30 pm, J and I met a group of his work friends for dinner. The sky was still blue when we were in our car, but on the radio they were warning Omaha of tornadoes touching down 40 miles away. In the ten minutes it took to drive to Roja, dark clouds had already starting rolling into West O. When we arrived, the management wouldn’t even seat us because of the tornado warnings in the area. I’m guessing it’s because the front and side of the restaurant were mostly glass. Eventually they made us all stand in the hallway near the bathrooms (they actually wanted us to go into the bathrooms) because the tornado sirens were going off. The rain was pouring down. I couldn’t believe I was hearing tornado sirens.

Slowly we made our way back into the bar area to watch the weather reports on the flat-screen TVs… until the sirens went off again and we were shuffled into the back. This continued for an hour and a half until the manager finally thought it was safe to serve us (there were 25 patrons in the entire joint at this point, 11 of them being our group). I think she could tell we were ready to revolt; they would even give us tortilla chips to snack on, and we were at a Mexican restaurant! Across the street, were two of J’s friends were hiding out, they were serving free beer to everyone waiting out the storm in their basement.

None of the tornadoes in the area hit us, but my heart goes out to the families of the Boy Scouts who were killed and injured at their camp in Little Sioux, Iowa. It’s so tragic that they died just a day after learning what to do in bad weather.

Tracking the tornadoes on one of the three televisions in the bar area at Roja

Watching the clouds in the parking lot

Waiting and watching… for 1 1/2 hours inside the restaurant

weak nails

I wore fake nails to my wedding.

However, they were gel and not acrylic, and I used Mademoiselle by Essie rather than getting the traditional bridal French manicure, which I think helped to lessen the tackiness.

Now my real nails are in dire need of some TLC. Not only are they short (I bit them WAY down in the weeks leading up to the wedding), but they’re weak. I heard that there are some supplements you can take to help your nails grow faster and stronger. A former co-worker used to take MSM supplements, but I’m wary to start taking those because they seem to be for arthritic adults and not for growing fingernails. I heard that Biotin can make your hair and nails grow, but can anybody vouch for that? What about the expensive Phyto supplements from France?

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