We’re coming up on the halfway point of J’s deployment, and I’m starting to slip into a slump. How do I know this is more than just feeling sad about being apart from my husband? Here are some of my tell-tale signs:

• Biting my (polished) nails
• Staying up late
• Eating too many sweets
• Isolating myself from friends and family
• Having difficulty checking off items on my To Do list

I know that eating more well-balanced meals and going to bed earlier would probably help me feel better, but when I’m in a funk it’s hard to make good-for-me choices. I also don’t get the satisfaction of accomplishing tasks like I usually do, making everything, even easy things like chores, more difficult.

What are your tell-tale signs of being in a funk? How do you get through a slump? I’d especially love to hear from other military wives.

(The print above is by modernemotive and features my new favorite quote: Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving. Albert Einstein, 1879 – 1955)

I feel so incredibly guilty when my husband, who is currently deployed, calls at inopportune times.

A couple of weeks ago, I was distracted by Rilo Kiley blasting through the speakers at Urban Outfitters and had to move outside to hear him… although the music was still plenty audible, making it difficult to converse. Another night I was elbow-deep in preparing dinner, at a point in my recipe when timing was key, and I couldn’t step away from the stove. My frustration was evident to him, I’m sure, but I had my grandmother at my side, my dog at my feet and my mother across the room, and I was overwhelmed.

This morning I was literally walking out the door when J called, wanting to Skype. I should have eagerly ran back to my computer, but I panicked that I was going to be late for work. Ultimately I decided to drop my keys and get online. I got to say a quick hello and shed a few tears before hopping in the car and speeding down to the Old Market.

I know that I’m extremely lucky that J is in a position where he can call a couple of times a week, even if he can only stay on the phone for a minute or two. I’m sure there are thousands of military wives who go weeks or months without hearing from their husbands, so I know I should drop everything to talk to him when I have the chance.

Am I a bad (military) wife because sometimes I can’t?

(image source)

Dear Mr. Ben and Mr. Jerry,

I miss my Chubby Hubby.

No, not J. He is far from chubby. I mean my other hubby, Chubby Hubby, the world’s best ice cream flavor.

Sadly, B&J, I can’t locate a pint of your vanilla malt ice cream rippled with fudge and peanut butter and dotted with fudge-covered, peanut butter-filled pretzels anywhere in Omaha. CH has always been my go-to comfort food for when I’m feeling blue, and when my hubby is deployed there are occasionally times I need a little pick-me-up in the form of a frozen treat.

I’ve tried Triple Caramel Chunk and Coffee Health Bar Crunch, but they just don’t have the same “feel good” quality as CH. They lack the luxurious combination of sweet and salty, smooth and crunchy.

So tell me: Where can a girl get some Chubby Hubby in Omaha? If it’s not available in fine retail establishments in the area, I’ll gladly accept a shipment from you that I can store in my garage freezer for emergencies.

Yours Truly,

PJ

(image source)

Inspired by Mackenzie’s “experimanicure,” I had an appointment last Saturday — the day that J left — for a CND Shellac manicure. Unfortunately, I was emotionally exhausted from the morning and fell asleep on the couch after lunch, missing my afternoon appointment. Oops.

My rescheduled manicure was yesterday afternoon. Although it’s a bit more expensive than a traditional manicure ($35 v. $18), a Shellac manicure is supposed to stay flawless for up to 14 days. I have a terrible habit of picking off my polish the second one nail chips, which usually leads to nail biting. If my polish can stay shiny and chip-free for two weeks, my nails may actually have a chance to grow. Plus, my manicurist claims there is something in the polish that makes nails thicker and stronger. Bonus!

The one downside of Shellac is that there are limited colors from which to choose. Since I’ll (hopefully) be living with the color for 14 days, I chose a classic red. I always feel fancy with red nails, don’t you?

I’ll keep you posted on how the manicure wears over the next two weeks. I’ve decided I’m going to measure time in manicures for the duration of J’s deployment. If I get my nails done every other week, he’ll be home after 8 manicures!

(photo by me)

I have an overactive imagination. It comes in handy for some things (creative writing, for example… perhaps one day I’ll write a novel) but not for living in the moment. It wouldn’t be such a problem if I were imagining my future self winning the lottery, but I’m usually forecasting the worst case scenario for any situation, especially when J is deployed.

To ensure that I’m not living in a constant state of worry for the next 3 months and to keep my anxiety levels low(ish), it’s been suggested to me that I practice meditation and mindfulness. I’m not opposed to this idea; I’ve read in magazines like Whole Living that the benefits of meditation are numerous. For instance, you can reduce your stress and boost your mood. But my mind is so well trained to think certain thoughts that I need some help learning how to clear it.

Guided meditation CDs or websites seem like a good place to start. I’m also intrigued by Hyp-Yoga at Omaha Yoga School; the topic of the summer session is “Living in the Present Moment.” Could be perfect, don’t you think?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on meditation. Do you use guided meditation CDs? Are you able to practice mindfulness on a daily basis? Please share your experiences in the comments below.

(image via Martha Stewart)

This print pretty much sums up how I’m feeling right now, except my funk isn’t totally self-induced. J deployed on Saturday. That’s a valid reason for being in a funk, I think.

Hopefully I can get myself back on track soon; I have a lot of projects planned for this summer to keep myself busy.

(via @scoutiegirlblog)

Yesterday, J and I celebrated our first anniversary. It’s still hard to believe that 365 days have gone by since we exchanged our vows; I can remember that day like it was yesterday. It’s even more crazy to think that J has been deployed for nearly half of our first official year together. Needless to say, we’ve had an unconventional year as newlyweds, and it looks like our life will be a bit unpredictable for another three or so years.

Because our anniversary fell on Memorial Day this year, there wasn’t much for us to do in Omaha. Nearly every “fancy” restaurant in the city was closed, either because they typically close on Mondays or because of the holiday, so we had brunch at Wheatfields, dinner at House of Hunan and dessert at Dairy Queen. We walked around Village Pointe, took an afternoon nap and, in the evening, watched Jon & Kate Plus 8.

It didn’t really bother me that yesterday was a low-key day because next week we’re heading to Phoenix for a true vacation in honor of our anniversary. We’re staying at the Biltmore and have nothing on our agenda besides lounging by the pool and eating at the best restaurants in the area. If you have any suggestions of things to do in Phoenix, please leave them in the comments section below. The last time I was in the Phoenix-area was back in 1998, I think!

(photo by Heather Waraksa)

So J flew halfway around the world today, only for his flight from Chicago to Omaha to be cancelled. I can’t believe it! There went my plan to pick him up on my way home from work. Now he’s on a flight to Dallas, and I can only hope that he’ll hop on a plane back to the Big O later tonight. I don’t wanna wait to see him until tomorrow! Waah!

And the waiting game continues…

(image source)

J arrives back in Omaha later this evening, shortly after I get off of work. Another deployment completed. This one was the easiest of the three so far. It helped that he was located in a place where he could call me once, sometimes twice, a day. I felt as though he was safer than he’s been, so I didn’t spend my days worrying (about him, at least. I did spend my days worrying about other things!).

We have a lot to do when he gets home, including fencing in our backyard so Briscoe can play in the sunshine and heading back to NJ for my sister’s engagement party. Most exciting, however, will be the celebration of our one year anniversary at the end of the month! What an emotional year it’s been. Together. Apart. Together. Apart. Together. Apart. Together.

We’re thinking of taking a mini-vacation to just relax and enjoy the pleasure of one another’s company. The idea of getting away for a couple of days is bliss. No walking the dog. No cleaning the kitchen. No compulsively checking email/Twitter/Facebook. *Ahh*

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A week into J’s deployment, and I suffered through another emotionally exhausting day. I had the opportunity to speak to him on the phone twice today, and both times I cried for the majority of the conversation. I’m just feeling overwhelmed by all of the home improvement projects we are planning — especially by the cost of the work that needs to be done. I’ve also taken on some personal projects that are forcing me to make decisions quickly, something I struggle to do normally but that becomes even more challenging without the direct support of my hubby.

None of things that are causing me stress are necessarily BAD things; on the contrary, they are all positive changes we are making to our house and to our lives. It’s just that I feel like the time, the money and the energy required to complete them all is weighing on me and me alone, and I really wish J were here to share the burden.

I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning because I’ve been in a foul mood all day. I tried to snap myself out of it both times while we were talking over the phone, but I was just in too deep. I know that he understands how hard it is for me to simply “cheer up!” when I’m feeling sad or frustrated, but I still feel guilty for moping during our conversation. There isn’t much he can do to cheer me up from all the way over there and he knows that, which makes listening to me cry that much harder for him.

Ugg, so now I feel guilty on top of already feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. What I need is a good night’s sleep in a freshly made bed and to wake up to a brand new tomorrow.

Thanks for listening.

(image souce)