2010 was a rough year for me. I turned 30 with much reluctance and little celebration, not understanding how I had reached such a milestone without achieving many of the life goals on my list. I watched friends become parents, wondering when it would be my turn and worrying that our friendships would change. I applied for but did not get multiple communications positions in Omaha and several paid blogging gigs.
My self-esteem took a nose dive. By the end of this year, I had run out of steam. I stopped blogging. I didn’t know what else to say.
So I started thinking, and I found myself wondering: What the hell am I doing in Omaha?
I’m in Omaha because my husband’s job requires us to be. He is the reason we are here, and I am here because I’m married to him. But, truthfully, that’s not good enough for me. What’s my reason?
Lately I’ve been thinking that the purpose of my sojourn in middle America is to try to figure out the answers to the big questions: What do I want to do with my life? Who do I want to be when I grow up? What type of wife/daughter/friend/woman do I want to be?
There is no better time than the end of the year to be reflective. It’s almost mandatory. And after the crappy year I’ve had, I believe that things can only get better. I’ve decided that 2011 will be the year that change happens for me. I will make change happen. I will do things that help me grow as a person. I will explore new areas of interest. I will align myself with positive and supportive people. I will get closer to answering those big questions.
(And, yes, I will begin blogging regularly again.)
Happy New Year!
(illustration by moonandlion)